Epic Fail
by hannahsierraXO
Summary: When Constantinos finally works up the courage to ask Pinky out, things go awry. One-shot, Pinky/Constantinos.


**Hope you like ;)**

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Pinky paced in front of her locker, wondering what on earth that gloomy poor kid wanted. She checked her watch numerous times and sighed. "Ten minutes late. What the hell?" She asked herself.

Another minute later, Pinky was about to leave when Constantinos came up to her locker, having more courage than he normally had. Pinky eyed him as he made his way through the maze of drabbling Preps that led to Pinky's locker, like a plaque in the middle of the way with a light shining on it.

"Uh, hello," Constantinos said, unsure of himself. Pinky made a face and a sound in the back of her throat. She continued to look at him and Constantnos' bravery quickly died down. He could feel the stares of the other Preps and students and knew that if she rejected him in public like this, his life would be ruined for sure.

After slight consideration, he decided it would be better to wait and ask. "Can I talk to you later, in a more private place?" He asked, watching the beautiful girl in front of him sigh impatiently.

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Pinky asked, sounding extremely annoyed.

"Well, I uh, um.." Thankfully he heard that bafoon, Bif, behind him speak up and push his scrawny body away with those meat slabs called hands.

Constantinos turned his back on the two when he heard Pinky shout about something to him. He couldn't help but feel a little better about himself. At least he didn't get yelled at.

Pinky shooed Bif away and brushed past Constantinos, whispering, "Meet me at my house on 2121 Bullworth Drive tonight at eight."

Constantinos' spirits soared. He couldn't help but feel excited for a "date" with that angel. He smiled at her, and received a strange look from her. Then he realized he had never smiled before. He realized how stupid he looked and walked away, practicing smiling so he'd be more prepared for tonight.

Pinky walked away from the surprisingly smiling Constantinos to her next class, Math. She would have to cancel her date with Derby during Math.

"Hey Derby," she whispered when they were in class, working on the assignment.

"What?" He said dramatically, like talking to him when he was "working" was such a big problem.

"We have to cancel our date for tonight," she whispered back, seeing her husband-to-be's face light up.

"That's fine, just don't bother me when you get back from your rendezvous with Hopkins," Derby said, with that snide smirk on his face.

"Fine," Pinky huffed in indignation. Why was he so okay with her seeing other guys? It made her curious. And why was it always that Derby assumed that bad boy Jimmy would be with her when she did something. It made her curious, but she ignored it and when she was done with Math class, she went to Aquaberry to buy more clothes.

Constantions sprayed cologne on and brushed his teeth. He also used some breath spray and popped a breath mint in his mouth. He walked out of the boy's dorm with his head held high, surprising many of his peers. He heard the murmurs and whispers of why Constantinos Brakus was suddenly acting with some pride. Constantinos got on his bike and pedaled as fast as he could to 2121 Bullworth Drive.

Pinky awaited on her living room sofa, watching the clock go by. It was nearly eight and that kid wasn't here yet. What was his name? Whatever, she thought.

Then at ten seconds until eight, she heard the doorbell ring. She jumped to her feet and skipped happily to the glass doors, recollecting herself before opening the door.

"Come in," she said, opening the door for him.

Constantinos bravely nodded and went through his mental checklist. Good breath, check, hair, check, clothes, check, manners, check, condoms, he felt in his pocket and smiled. Check.

"So what did you wan-" Constantinos was cut off by Pinky's perfect lips on his. He choked on his own spit and couldn't breathe. He had never kissed anyone before, much less than a forced French kiss.

Pinky pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes. Her eyes read two distinct emotions: need, or perhaps even want, and lust. Constantinos was scared beyond belief and just sat there uncomfortably, waiting for Pinky's next move.

Then he felt dainty fingers wrap around his wrist and before he knew it Pinky was leading him up the stairs to, Constantinos was guessing, her bedroom. His stomach pitted with millions of emotions, but the most prominent one was by far nerves. He was scared to death of what would happen. He had no experience in this what so ever.

Soon enough, Pinky was pushing Constantinos on her plush four-poster bed. Constantinos marveled slightly at the feel of the soft blankets and the numerous satin curtains enclosed around them. But then his attention was brought back to the task at hand and Pinky was ripping down his shirt in a frenzy.

Pinky licked her lips at Constantinos' scrawny chest. She had always been a goner for skinny boys. She bent down and licked up his stomach, feeling his skin quiver. She smiled and bit down lightly on his Adam's apple.

Constantinos had his eyes closed in ecstasy until he felt teeth on his neck. He looked down and opened his eyes, seeing Pinky nibbling on his Adam's apple, apparently working her way up or down, he didn't know.

Pinky felt along his sides and trailed her elegant, but thrifty, fingers down to his pants. She uttered an un-befitting growl and ripped the button off of his pants entirely. Constantinos tensed and sat up quickly, looking sick. "I gotta go to the bathroom," he said, pushing past her and running down the hall, looking for the bathroom.

He pushed a door open and regretted it immediately. Pinky's father was sitting in a chair by the fireplace, smoking a cigar and reading the paper. He turned around in a fraction of a second and saw Constantinos Brakus standing in his doorway, half-naked with his zipper down.

"YOU!" He roared, getting up from his chair and running towards Constantinos. Constantinos ran as fast as he ever had down the hall and down the stairs. He ripped the doors open and bolted to his bike, zipping his pants and fumbling in the neatly mowed grass along the way.

He hopped on his bike, pedaling as fast as he could before he remembered he didn't have a shirt on. He felt exposed and pedaled even faster. Then he heard the undeniable voice of a fake British accent. "Is that Constantinos?"

He looked to his right and saw a bunch of Preps walking on the sidewalk. He panicked and tried to pedal faster. Unfortunately, the tires got caught up in something and he fell head over handlebars and landed in the grass. He heard a sickening crack come from his right arm and he got up and ran, trying to ignore the screaming pain in his arm.

He ran all through Bullworth until he was out of breath. He stopped and put his hands on his knees when he saw little Karen Johnson riding her bike down the rode. Constantinos lurched to her and threw her off the bike and then pedaled as fast as he could back to Bullworth, his knees constantly hitting the pink handlebars on the little girl's bike.

By the time Constantinos got back to the dorm, he was sweating buckets and was exhausted. He couldn't even feel his right arm anymore. He sulked to his dorm room, ignoring the stares he got from the boys in his dorm from the fact that his button-less pants were constantly falling down, show-casing his tighty-whities. To add to that, they were also staring at the red marks around his neck he had received from Pinky. Some of the guys were even saying how he'd gotten them from that gay nerd, Cornelius. Could his life get any worse?


End file.
